Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize