dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
