too bad you live with your parents still
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
