dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
