I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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