You're so nebulous sometimes
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
