I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
