I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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