when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
