its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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