4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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