in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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