are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
