Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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