Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
