When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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