Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
