Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
