i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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