just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
