if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
farters have to be the big spoon...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
