no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
