I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
