So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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