Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
