Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
