We won't sleep together?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
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They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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