We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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