Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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