I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
