guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
