why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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