i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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