apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
