Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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