Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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