So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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