I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
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It's blow job season.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
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