So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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