Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
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