I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize