Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
