Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
