THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
