Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
