i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
