apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
