with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
