someone owes me an orgasm
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
