I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
