Sorry, I don't speak sober.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize