Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
