i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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