"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
