I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I need water and some morals
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
