how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
