so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
