I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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