Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
