Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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