so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
