i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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