I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
