Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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